I've made some life changing decisions in my life, and last month marked the 2nd year of one of my biggest decisions - the beginning of my journey here in Japan. And what a journey it's been. Along the way, I may have lost some English ability, any wit or personality I may have had, and all but a handful of friends, but I have gained valuable experiences and learned that the world did not have to be as small or as limited as that of Melbourne. I love it here, and I just can't see myself leaving for a while longer.

Having just started my 3rd contract here in ECC, I'm set for another year of new experiences, frustrations and everything else in between. I will also continue teaching at a university, but in addition to that, I'll be teaching at another university, and while it's not the all women's that I was first offered (and very hesitantly declined), it's still going to be an invaluable experience and an important step to beefing up my resume, and readying me for perhaps my entry into a full time university position next year (fingers crossed). Combined with my new 3 year VISA,  the light at the end of the tunnel is brighter, with the obstacles starting to clear away from the path.

It's funny how things have turned out. After initially planning to stay here for only 6 months or so, I'm now planning to continue on from this 2 years to another year, or perhaps another 3 should I get the full time uni position. I never expected to be a teacher, especially since I'm not exactly qualified to be one, and I especially would never have guessed I'd be living away from Australia. Actually, I always though I'd be married by now, kids on the way, enjoying life as a systems analyst with a nice house on the green hills of the east-side (of Melbourne), decked out with the latest in electronics.

Despite my great job and all other possible positive things in my life, it's only natural to have other things take away from having the sweet life - to balance the equation, so to speak. I have a bitch of a gf who I have no interest in making my wife - or being my gf for much longer, who's threated to destroy all my precious electronics and other belongings should I leave her, who throws out my clothes because we have no room for them, who sits home all day because she lost her job and she's too lazy to look for a new one. As far as I looked ahead in my life, I sure didn't expect this, but hey, life can't always be perfect.

And so as life continues, I've also continued to lose weight - 9 kgs and counting (slowly). Don't let the doctors fool you, stress is great for losing weight. So is the lack of sleep, if you can keep the hallucinations to a minimum. I can fit in so many old clothes now and my self esteem has never been better! I'd fit in even more old clothes actually if my gf didn't throw them out. Alas, I guess this means more shopping for me - if only I didn't have to pay for all the rent and bills.

So to end this rant, I came across this picture in one of my junior high school classes. I was supposed to show the students this picture, and ask them what was wrong with it. Things didn't go so smoothly after that.

 

Like I've said to most people recently, life had become dull because I'd been stuck  on a routine. But from a different perspective, I've realised it's this routine that has allowed me to become, or at least have started becoming more responsible. I'm no longer almost always late, I voluntarily clean, I make my lunch everyday, I... shower everyday... you get the idea. I'm quite proud that finally, after all this time, I'm learning to act my age. Perhaps one day soon, I can be responsible enough to be part of a family.

So now that I don't feel like an island slowly sinking into an ocean of still water, there was a sudden unexpected curve in my otherwise straight road. My gf went off to her hometown to take care of what can only described as a family tragedy, and I've been left alone to fend for myself.

It's been strange to not come home to dinner, or to find that the bed's not made, but after living with my gf for more than a year, it is such a great feeling to be able to put my feet up, not have to wash the dishes, and most especially, watch any movies I like without feeling guilt that my gf can't understand a thing.

I guess that with all this alone-time, I've also had plenty of time to think about and do things that I've been meaning to do for a long time. And being the tech-savvy guy that I am, one such thing was to finally learn about how cable and digital TV works here in Japan. Armed with my equally tech-savvy Japanese friend, we were able to finally work out how to get high definition digital programs to my TV.

While being able to see all the little crevaces in each person's face was not a welcome sight, seeing my beloved hotty newscasters in all their HD glory left me in nothing but awe. HD is a beautiful thing, and I can never turn back to regular standard definition. If only cable TV could look this good - but I guess that's asking a little too much when pirating free cable.

Free cable? Free? Yes. Today, we also figured out how to get free cable. So while I watch an average of 10 minutes of TV a day, I can now spend those 10 minutes cycling through the 100+ channels - perhaps lingering a little longer at the most popular channels - of course, the porn channels.

Ah, porn. Unfortunately, with only a day left before the gf comes back, I don't have long to enjoy the freedom of sitting on the couch, popcorn in one hand, watching the latest in this lovely artform. Porn is great. Free porn is better. I suppose, with this slight guilt I have, I can argue that porn sure does beat cheating.

Talking about porn, a recent conversation with a student went along these lines. The topic was on political correctness, so when I happened to ask her if there were words she felt should be modernised, we came upon an interesting discussion.

Student: I don't like the word "man-whore".
Me: ... W-what?
Student: You know, those things on the street.
Me: So you're saying they should just be called whores?
Student: Well, maybe a different name.
Me: What other name could be more suitable than whores? Unless you  want to distinguish between male and female whores -
Student: There's a woman-whore?
Me: Well, of course, but they're just called whores.

The conversation then moved on to whether English nouns were also categorised by gender like French, before I light flicked on in my head and realised why we were talking about this anyway.

She said "man-hole".

I've been here for 2 years, yet I still can't get used to the Japanese accent.

See you next month!

PS I've lost 5kgs in the last 6 weeks. Time to celebrate with chocolate and ice-cream.

Well, I've lost almost all motivation to update this blog because life has become a routine. But today, I just wanna record something quick.

Through out December, I was really sick, but not enough to keep me from work except for just a few days. Following that, I had a flu shot because there's nothing I fear more than the flu. Well, just a month after the vaccine, you'll never believe it - I have the flu. Ain't life a bitch. My temp right now is 39.5 degrees.

What's worse is that my lungs seem to be damaged - as if I've been a heavy smoker. It's been 2 years since I quite smoking and that damn pneumonia, and it's as if I haven't changed at all.

So the last couple of days have been spent with my other gf, the Xbox 360. And wow, it's so shocking to see so much bad behavior, and worse, racism. At least once in 5 games someone will taunt me for being a "fucking chink"; that all Japanese/Chinese people are stupid. And is it a coincidence that they've been all Americans? On the flip side, when I played with people from HK, I've heard them swear at the other unknowing players for no reason. There are too many stupid people in this world.

So to end this post, there is one thing that's made me have a big smile. I passed level 3 of the JLPT! I still can't speak Japanese, but I've gotten a whole lot better at guessing the possible answer. I got more than 80%!!

So I've finally started losing some weight and it's great, but still not enough to fit some old clothes from 6 months ago - and certainly leagues away from fitting last year's clothes.

I've had a somewhat interesting month. Just last week, while having a casual conversation with a middle aged student, we somehow got to the topic of love and marriage. Being somewhat indifferent about this topic, I gave my usual general answers and tried to steer the conversation to other directions - to no avail. She began to give me advice about relationships, love, equality and all that, drawing everything from her experiences. She then told me about the mistakes she made, how she should've married for love instead of having an arranged marriage... and... how her sex life was non-existent.

Why me? This was probably the 6th or 7th time I'd heard it this year, and worse was that it was the 2nd time that week. Could it be just a strange coincidence that sexually frustrated middle aged women come to me for moral support? Whatever the reason, I could look at the bright side. One day, perhaps, this info may become useful. Perhaps.

On the lighter side, one student added that she prefers young men, especially those of mixed backgrounds. And after looking at me coyly, I couldn't help but laugh.

In other news, I had a bit of a nightmare start to my month. My beloved Xbox 360, which had helped me get through the most trying times of living with a crazy bitch (who I love), broke. I almost let out a tear as I relentlessly tried to revive the poor girl, only to be shown the dreaded 3 red flashing lights of death.

Fortunately, I was able to buy me a Playstation 3. After lining up for a few hours, and then having my gf line up as I went to work, we were able to get one in a lucky draw that was to sell 40 PS3s to about 500-600 people. Truthfully, I didn't really want it, but my gf was very keen to get one perhaps 'cause she was sucked in by the hype machine. So while I hesitantly paid my share for that 2 faced monster (vertically, one side is beautiful, the other looks like the back of an old air conditioner), it did get me through some boring times, and more importantly, saved me from having a conversation with the gf.

Unfortunately, with new games arriving in the mail, I gave in and bought myself a new 360 again. I gotta say, in comparison to the PS3, the 360 seems to command more respect. For now, the graphics are prettier, the interface is more user-friendly and the games are better. So while the PS3 gathers dust, it at least makes my entertainment unit look full.

Lastly...

For the last month, I'd been going to the gym a lot. Not only does it give me a reason to be outside of prison (my apartment), it's helped become fitter and leaner. I joined some classes, and quickly made some friends with the regulars. So while one is most probably gay, especially since he passed me his phone number just last night, they've introduced me to the hottest of the hot women at the gym. There's a little party going on this Thursday with these friends - and the women are all going - and drinking. Unfortunately, the proverbial chain isn't long enough to allow me to go... but should this chain break one day...

I doubt that chain will break though since life sure has gotten monotonous - like I'm married and I'm way past the honeymoon period. At least, there is one thing that never fails to take me by surprise, and regardless of how shit I feel from the sleepless night, seeing it totally changes my train of thought. What is it? It's the life size cardboard cut-out of me that stands outside one of the schools I work in. Imagine trying to hold your shit in, knowing that at any second the cramping muscles will give in, and then forcing yourself to smile at the same time. That's what happens when you try your darndest to suck in you gut, and unfortunately the end result is what greets me every Saturday morning. Worse, inside is a giant picture of my ugly mug with an expression that probably resembles my sex face. I'd say something like everything being ok since I got paid for this, but I only got paid in vouchers, and my gf used these vouchers to replace undies (so what if they were 5 years old, they were comfy) and groceries. Bitch (but I still love her).

And that is it.

I'm not a big fan of South Park, but I did catch the hilarious episode about Chef's new tasty treat. And after seeing that all those years ago, it did make me think for a while that something similar could be pretty good. I mean I'd met a lot of people who had dipped their Macca's chips in ice cream (thankful for that I might add since I'd been called crazy for doing that), so mixing a salty flavor with something sweet was something that I thought could make some money.

Fast forward to today. At 80kgs (and still rising), I have a big appetite for chocolate and potato chips, often eating them one after the other. Well today, thanks to my gf who still insists that I'm not even close to fat (considering I'm about 7-8kg above the healthy weight cut-off for my height), I can now enjoy them at the same time!



Add that hamburger (its case is in the background) and the sushi I ate for dinner, and you've a wholesome dinner fit for a man who wants to die of a heart-attack.

So I've just realised that I have a few other pictures I'd like to put up...



That is my space-age vacuum cleaner. (My gf's birthday present.) And oh, you can see part of my collection of ties (I had 15 at last count), of which I wear only 3.





And lastly, I get presents from my students here and there. These chocolates are from Sth Korea, and not only are they spicy, they're VERY VERY spicy. Spicy Tim Tams don't hold a candle to these babies. I took this photo right after recovering from shock from the first chocolate I ate. I proceeded to eat the rest at the same time.

To end this post, I wanna say that I'd been having recurring dreams that I was 31, and after a troubled few years back in Melbourne, I'd gone back to continue doing something I loved (teaching) instead of working to get money. So anyway, ignoring the possible insight into what I should probably do about my future, the dreams felt so real that whenever I was asked how old I was, my immediate answer has been 31. The worst part about it is that everyone's believed me.

So that's all for now. I have so much to write, but I have so little time. And it's not as if I hang out too much since I don't think I have any friends left here in Japan (I haven't hung out with anyone for a LONG time). On the bright side, I do go to the gym regularly now - which is still seemingly of no use because I eat even more, and on an even brighter side, I found a great place to sleep - the train. I still can't sleep at home.

Ok, back to bed.

I'm a big idol fan, and I was EXTREMELY disappointed by the incredible lack of talent in the last Australian Idol, leaving me to wonder whether Australia had run out of new talent.

And then I tuned in to the latest Aus Idol, and I was blown out of the water. I watch American Idol too, and I have to say, I haven't seen/heard talent and/or star quality like this for a long time.

I'm a few weeks behind as I'm watching everything from torrents, so I dunno who's been booted, but my god bobby reminds me so much of great singers I haven't heard for a long time like Jeff Buckley, and I'm also a big fan of Chris too.

So it`s web school day... I`m dead tired, sleepy, and brain has called it a day.

So in came a very attractive student blessed by freakishly big boobs (at least as seen from her cleavage), and during a quick question and answer session, she asked me...

"What would you do if you were a girl?"

"Well I would... What did you say?"

Thankfully my brain decided to throw me a few braincells to stop me.

And then my next student...

"What would you do if you were abroad?"

Well... what would one do if one was A BROAD, I thought.

"I would play with my..."

A few more braincells were thrown my way before I completed the sentence (and the fantasy). I struggled throughout the lesson, and so here I am, brain exhausted, eyelids dropping, and with only one thought.

"If I was a girl, I`d play with my breasts all day."

I may regret posting this.

Either I`m a bad teacher, or students of web school don`t care to speak to a teacher who looks Japanese, because once again, I have a lot of free-time in my hands. It seems I have my 5 students who see me every week here, and no-one else. Oh well, at least I get time to write in my diary.

The Tooth Hurts (only title I could think of since the same song is playing in the background now)

So today, I`m not feeling so good, but much better than I`d been in the last week. A week ago, I started to feel a little pain in my mouth, but being that I do brush my teeth meticulously (to try erase the scars from years of smoking), I figured it was just a minor ulcer. Fast forward 2 days, and a fever had crept in, and eating had become a lot more difficult. By Saturday, my fever was in full swing, and I could no longer eat. The right side of my mouth had swollen so much that I couldn`t bite without pain, and it was at this time that I noticed the giant ulcer at the back of my mouth.

I`ve had many ulcers in my life, and a slightly enlarged one wasn`t about to bring me down to miss work, so I went to work anyway. I made it through the day, but by night, my teeth started to ache too. It was only my top teeth that hurt, and then after a sleepless night, Sunday came with my bottom teeth hurting.

I managed to keep myself sane, waiting for Monday to see a dentist to see what the hell was wrong. Monday came, and after getting lost (and getting over the fact that a day of no work means no money), I found the dentist who I was told spoke English. Well he couldn`t, but with drawings, a dictionary, and with help with my almost non-existent Japanese, I eventually understood that #1 my wisdom teeth were growing again; #2 the top right wisdom tooth had a huge cavity and filled with blackened plaque (I guess my toothbrush couldn`t reach it); and #3 the ulcer was freakin huge and was getting worse because it kept getting bitten.

So step one was to treat the ulcer, and step two... to remove the black tooth.

After an utterly nauseating time wherein the doctor seemed to have an aerobic work-out, thrashing my face around to take out the stubbornly hard to get to tooth, 2 of 3 problems were somewhat fixed. I did wish he used more anesthetics though. I think it was only after that somewhat scarring ordeal did I feel my mouth become numb. And I wish he did something to stop the bleeding other than using what looked like cheap toilet paper. Even today, I`m still spitting quite a bit of blood - which probably explains why I constantly feel nauseous and light headed. But hey, even without insurance, it was a hell of a lot cheaper here than in Melbourne, as the whole treatment only cost me about 13000yen (~$150AU I think). More pain but less money. Yeah, I`ll take that.

Tomorrow, another tooth will get taken out, but I`m somewhat nervous about this one since it`s impacted, and it`s on a 90 degree angle, and oh, the dentist also said that it would be quite difficult.

Poker King

So for the most part of the last week, I`d been at home. Sure, I only missed one day of work, but with no going-out, and no sleeping, I had a hell of a lot of time to kill. And so, with my trusty Xbox360, I set out to play nothing but... Poker! Texas Hold`em to be exact.

With the extra amount of time I had to play it, I`ve become quite good at it! Having had no great knowledge of Poker, I didn`t know how to bluff, when to call/raise/fold, and especially what beat what. Now, I understand all the rules, and also, while I still play a relatively safe game, I`ve become quite good at reading people. In fact, in the 4 classes of tournaments online (free - up to $2000 prize, 4k - up to $16000 prize, 50k, 500k),  I`ve won enough to play in the 50k class. And while I haven`t tried to play there yet, should I lose, I have enough money play again at least once more. Best of all, my girlfriend loves watching me play - although she does get angry and calls me a loser when I want to give up after a loss. She even curses me when I make a big risk and lose. Bitch. But I still love her.

Anyway, this is all with fake money, but still, the fake tournament money isn`t that easy to come by.

What Am I?

Speaking to my mum while she was here, she casually mentioned that her grandfather was Japanese, but most of her background is Spanish. Somewhere in my lineage, apparently there`s quite a bit of Chinese, but of course, there should be a lot of Filipino blood there too - being that my parents and grandparents were born in the Philippines (me too). But of course, I don`t look Filipino, and I grew up in Australia. So, being that most of any new students ask me if I`m at least 1/2 Japanese and 1/2 Australian, it`s become tiresome to say everything, so I`ve now succumb to simply nodding and saying yes. And it seems to win me some extra brownie points. And hey, to them, it makes me more like Keanu Reaves which has led to some tempting invites.

So that`s all for today. Everyone please learn to play poker, so when I go back, it`s something we can all do together!

Later.

 

 

It`s been a happy time at my camp, despite the incapacitating heat of the last month. I did leave the country though, and spent a wonderfully relaxing time in the coolness of the Gold Coast, but not before struggling to adjust from the 38 degree heat of Osaka, to the seemingly freezing 21 degrees of Surfers Paradise. After a day, all was well, and I was able to bask in the perfect conditions.

Come to think of it, of the 3 holidays I`ve gone on this year, twice were back to Australia. And while I miss the awesomeness that is Melbourne, I still haven`t gone back home. I did go to Sydney however, but as much as I wanted to make that extra hour on the plane, I didn`t have the time.

Mum's Visit

Upon my return from the Gold Coast, I didn`t get much of a break before my mum came by to visit. While it was great to see mum, doing so while being fried by the sun, drowned by the humidity and suffocated by the stench of the millions of non-deodorant-wearing Japanese people didn`t make for the happiest of happy reunions. Still, for the most part, I kept my mood in good check and we did have a great time.

Of course, mum telling me from the get-go that I`d gotten really fat didn`t bode too well, and neither did her constant warnings of the family`s history of diabetes and heart disease and such. But still, in the end, I was quite happy to see mum, and get some updates on the latest in family gossip.

But that`s not my reason for being so happy.

A feel good story...

Last night, having come home from a night of shopping, I was quick to doze off, completely neglecting to have any snack, and worse, dinner - something that hasn't happened for as long as I can remember. And so, while my brain had fallen fast asleep, my stomach wasn't about to let a dead brain stand in the way of its nightly fill. 

The functional organs amassed for a meeting. Given the responsibility of filling in for the sleeping brain, my second brain would only relay its fantasy of 2 of its favorite actresses, draped in apple custard with a topping of cream cheese. But patience was wearing thin, and the stomach the same. Trying to slap some sense into brain #2 only worsened the situation, and so, as the minutes passed, all hope seemed lost as each organ began its nightly fall into slumber.

A light. A drumbeat. A (guitar) power-chord. Revived by what seemed like an 80s motivation song in the background, the stomach found a voice through my mouth, and wailed like a lost kitten as it relentlessly called out for help, hoping that somewhere, someone would have the kind heart to help one so helpless and hungry for love.

Like the cliched end to a feel good movie, someone did hear, and that someone took the time to attend to the needs of the destitute. My gf woke me up, plate of omelet and rice in hand, and told me to eat it because she was sick of me crying out ``I`m hungry`` in my sleep.

It's now 4.45am, and I'm still eating my omelet. All is quiet because my gf is fast asleep. This is the life.

Well, it's been a while, and so much has come and gone that deciding where to begin is discouragement enough to stop typing. But hey, it`s Wednesday, and somehow I have free time again, so I press on.

The Effects of Chickenpox

Had an interesting conversation with a student about sicknesses, how the common cold here is unlike what I grew up to learn in Australia. It seems, when people have colds, they have symptoms such as high fever, nausea and migraines, and they go to the hospital.

"The hospital?", I asked. I guess clinics, though they're aplenty, just aren't enough for a cold. That, or what the definition of a cold here is a completely different thing.

So as my student and I agreed that we had completely different definitions, our conversation turned to other common ailments, which eventually led us to chicken pox. The conversation became interesting at this point coz I don't think I've ever had any form of pox, and when my student realised this, she warned me of the dangers of contracting chickenpox this late in life.

She did say a lot of things, like I could perhaps be incapacitated for a long time, have unrecoverable scarring, but what got to me, was the last thing she said. Now, her level of English is pretty high in that we can have a decent conversation about anything, but I realised the conversation went to a place she didn't want to go. She began to uncontrollably stutter, mumble and give off other signs of extreme discomfort. She went on anyway, telling me that "the number of your thing's things will decrease", and while I completely understood what she went meant, I decided to play dumb to see how far she'd go into describing it.

After what felt like 10 minutes, she stopped talking, went and grabbed a pen and paper, and proceeded to draw it for me.

"How do you say this in English?", she asked. With my immature mind still smirking from the conversation topic, I gained composure, only to call it "cum". I corrected myself and halfway said jizz before I shut out my obviously incapacitated brain and called it its rightful name.

And so while I did have my fun, I unknowingly opened the floodgates because she began talking about sex, and every time I steered the conversation away, she always found a way to get back on her track. So with the limited capacity of my brain, I'm sure useless information like knowing that all her previous partners lacked passion in bed, has shifted out some more useful things like childhood memories, or how to do math.

Brain Training

Ah math. Once my greatest strength, only to fail me miserably in my last years of high school. In fact, since high school, I don't think I ever used my brain much. My vocab has certainly become a fraction of what was once a vast collection of long words I used to insult my sister. It's a pity really. These days, I don't read anything useful anymore, my job is a cake walk, so all signs point to a brain devoid of activity.

Enter Brain Age. With my brand spanking new Nintendo DS Lite and along with the Brain Age software, I was able to get a grasp of how much my brain had decayed over years of inactivity. Having gone through the first set of training, I was greeted with an animation of a guy riding a bicycle each time I finished an exercise. Confident that my "brain age" would be "somewhere up there" seeing as I interpreted that bike animation to mean I was some sort of god amongst humans, I dropped my then spotless DS onto a plate of curry after being greeted with a brain age of 78 (20 being the best number, and 80 being the worst).

After a mild bout of depression, I promised myself that I would endeavor to make my brain at least equal to my age. And so, after a week or so, my brain age is now 26. And you know what, this knowledge has made me feel really good about myself. Sure, in the real world it means nothing, but I now have this urge to suddenly do things that can benefit me mentally. For one, I've started playing a number puzzle game called Sudoku - almost everyday! And once a crossword puzzle game is released for the DS, I'll be sure to be first in line to get that too.

The God Tiered Girl

And to finish off this long overdue blog, one of my regular adult classes ended today before we resume classes again in 2 months. And so, instead of studying, we had a little party where all the students brought cakes and all manner of Japanese sweets for me to try. It was great and all, but the moment that will long be remembered is when a parent brought out a couple of magazines to show me something. She showed me her 19year old daughter - a model. A really really really HOT model. Wow. Not just a top-tiered hot chick, but she was a definite god-tier, along the lines of Kristin Kreuk, Nakama Yukie and the infamous Ebi-chan. And she looks just like her mum... I'd love to say that she wanted to set-us up, and while that did play out in my head, reality was a big disappointment.

So that's all for this month. Until next time!

 

Aurik